Off-Topic: Vows

Two years ago, on May 19, 2012, I married my husband, John. These were my vows:

John:

I don’t know what I can say to you that I’ve not already said.

In front of family, friends, neighbors, and community, I can say this:

Today is not a beginning – We began many years ago.

Today is not an ending – There is much more for us to explore together.

I am grateful, that having moved apart, our separate journeys prepared us to come together again, and see each other with new eyes.

I love you, more than I could have imagined I would ever love anyone.

Today is a milestone on the path.

I want always to travel that path with you.

"We began many years ago"

John and I first met nearly 30 years ago at one of the then-many, now long-gone, gay bars in the East Village.

"having moved apart"

Somewhere explained in an earlier blog post. I moved from the East Village to Brooklyn

"our separate journeys"

Both John and I have spoken publicly about being in recovery. Speaking for myself, I needed a lot of work.

We've been "together" for 17 years or so. (John keeps track of these things.) We've been living together for 14 years. A few years ago, as the possibility of legal marriage in New York state seemed increasingly likely, I "pre-proposed" to John. I told him that, if and when it became legal in our home state, I would propose to him. He initially objected, "What if I want to propose to you?!"

In the Summer of 2011, marriage equality became law in New York state. The next day, we had a voice message from a couple of our straight neighbors: "When's the wedding?!" All the pressure to marry came from straight friends and neighbors.

In the Fall of 2011, I ambushed John with a "surprise engagement." I secretly gathered family and friends, and proposed to John on our second floor porch. We shared dinner after at a nearby restaurant.

Many years ago, when our partnership had not yet been secured, I vowed to John: "I commit to exploring relationship with you." I maintain that vow.

Related Content

Bees, a Mockingbird, and Marriage Equality, 2009-05-22
David Joseph Wilcox, 1957-1996, 2008-01-22

Links

Wikipedia: Marriage Equality Act (New York)

What's Blooming

Updated 2014-05-11: At the request of one of my readers, I started adding photos of the flowers.
Retracted Erythronium; I checked, and its petals have fallen. Hoping for seedset; I have plenty of ants to disperse them!

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My backyard native plant garden is bursting with blooms right now. This is probably the peak bloom for the year. It happens to coincide with NYC Wildflower Week, which started today and runs through Sunday, May 18.

I will double-check this list tomorrow, but I think this is what I've got blooming:

1. Anemonella thalictroides
2. Aquilegia canadensis, Eastern Red Columbine, Canadian Columbine
3. Asarum canadense, Wild Ginger
4. Carex, Sedge
5. Claytonia virginica, Spring Beauty
6. Cornus sericea 'Cardinal', Red-Twig Dogwood
7. Dicentra eximia
8. Fothergilla gardenii
9. Fragaria virginiana, Wild Strawberry
10. Geranium maculatum, Spotted Geranium
11. Mertensia virginiana, Virginia Bluebells
12. Phlox stolonifera, Creeping Phlox
13. Photinia pyrifolia (Aronia arbutifolia) 'Brilliantissima', Red Chokeberry
14. Polemonium reptans, Jacob's Ladder
15. Polygonatum biflorum, Solomon's Seal
16. Podophyllum peltatum, Mayapple
17. Stylophorum diphyllum, Celandine Poppy
18. Vaccinium angustifolium, Lowbush Blueberry
19. Vaccinium corymbosum, Highbush Blueberry
20. Viola, white-flowering and "vigorously" self-seeding, either V. canadensis or V. striata
21. Viola sororia, Dooryard Violet, the common "weed" of gardens
22. Trillium, unsure of species
23. Tiarella cordifolia, Foamflower

Not all of these photos were taken this weekend, but here are some of the flowers appearing in my backyard.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden removes science from its mission

After all their protests that eliminating their research staff in August 2013 was not "the end of science" at Brooklyn Botanic Garden, BBG's Board of Trustees quietly voted at the end of September to change their mission. In contrast to their earlier spin machine, BBG has issued no press release, nor any Message from the President, Scot Medbury, to announce this.

Lemon Cardamon Sugar Cookies

Recipe updated (improved?) 2016-12-03.

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Sign the Petition to Restore Science to Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Updates:
2013-10-05: Guest post on Garden Rant.
2013-09-26: Thanks to the Brokelyn link, the petition surges past 2,500, adding 800 new signatures in two days, nearly all of them from Brooklyn.
2013-09-24: Brokelyn favorably summarizes the issue and links to the petition.
2013-09-22: The NY Times mentions the petition, but doesn't link to it. It briefly quotes me and links to this blog. The article is a puff piece largely written by BBG.
The petition has reached 1,750 signatures, and continues to grow.
2013-09-19: Brooklyn Daily Eagle and NY Daily News have picked up the petition.
We reached the 1,500 signature mark earlier today.
2013-09-16: Added selections of some of my favorite comments from signatories to the petition.

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Contents

• Selected Comments
• Related Content
• Links

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Seeds, Asclepias incarnata, Swamp Milkweed, NYC-local ecotype, growing in my urban backyard native plant garden and wildlife habitat in November 2010. Monitoring and propagation of rare and endangered native plants from local, wild populations is one of the activities Brooklyn Botanic has eliminated with its latest round of cuts.


Three weeks ago, I wrote about the elimination of the last science staff, programs and activities at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden (BBG). Since then, I've learned much more about the history of just how far BBG has drifted from its mission, which is supposed to include:

Engaging in research in plant sciences to expand human knowledge of plants, and disseminating the results to science professionals and the general public.

Several of us have continued working to formulate a response. Over the weekend, we launched a petition on Change.org to Restore Science to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden:

Reinstate Brooklyn Botanic Garden’s field work, herbarium and library access, and the scientists needed to support these programs and services.

Restore science as a priority, as required by the Brooklyn Botanic Garden’s mission: “Engaging in research in plant sciences to expand human knowledge of plants, and disseminating the results to science professionals and the general public.”

Include Brooklyn, its neighborhoods, and scientific communities – the public for which Brooklyn Botanic Garden was founded, and is funded, to serve – in all decisions affecting its research and education programs and activities.

In less than 24 hours, we reached the 100-signature mark. Even this early, after seeing the responses in one day, there's hope we may see thousands of signatures in this campaign.

Hempstead Plains, Long Island's Remnant Prairie

Updated 2013-09-05: CORRECTION - The white-flowering plant is Eupatorium hyssopifolium, Hyssop-leaf Throughwort, not E. perfoliatum, Common Boneset, as I misidentified it.

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At a glance - say, highway speed - this may appear to be yet another old-field meadow, biding its time before it transitions into shrubland and eventually forest. This is Hempstead Plains, one of several mature grasslands on Long Island, and the only true prairie east of the Appalachian Mountains.


Hempstead Plains on the grounds of Nassau Community College in East Garden City, Nassau County, NY. The white-flowering plants are Eupatorium hyssopifolium, Hyssop-leaf Throughwort.

On Sunday, August 25, I joined three other native plant lovers for a whirlwind tour of Hempstead Plains. We had only an hour; I could have spent several hours there. For me, this was a pilgrimage. I spent most of my childhood on Long Island.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden's Slash and Burn "Campaign for the 21st Century"

Sign the Petition to Restore Science to Brooklyn Botanic Garden! (Added 2013-09-16)

Updates:
2013-08-29: Added more links. I will continue to do so as this story begins to get more exposure.
2013-08-24: Expanded analysis. Added more external links to relevant sections of BBG's Web site.
2013-08-23 18:00: Added response from BBG.

Contents

• My Letter to BBG
• BBG's Response
• Analysis
• Related Content
• External Links
• Links to Brooklyn Botanic Garden

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I was alarmed to read the following on Twitter yesterday [2013-08-21]:

Brooklyn Botanic Garden suspends science program and lays off botany staff. Express concerns to president Scot Medbury scotmedbury@bbg.org.
- New York Flora Association, 2013-08-22, ~06:00 EDT

My Letter

For over a century, since its founding, science has been a foundation of the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. It is a primary reason why I have supported them. This morning [2013-08-23] I wrote the following email to Scot Medbury, President, Brooklyn Botanic Garden (BBG), and the Director of Major Gifts at BBG's Development Department:

The Supermodel in the Sewer: /Dolichovespula maculata/, Bald-Faced Hornet

Setting aside for a moment the less-than-appealing staging, this is a beautiful creature.

This is Dolichovespula maculata, the Bald-Faced Hornet. Despite its prevalence, this is my first direct encounter with one.

Cry Wolf: /Philanthus gibossus/, Beewolf

Philanthus gibossus, Beewolf, on Pycnanthemum muticum, Clustered Mountain-Mint, in my native plant gardens this past weekend.


This thirsty little wasp face down in a cup of nectar is a Beewolf, so-named because they provision their larvae with bees. Despite the size of the image, these wasps are small; the individual flowers of this Pycnanthemum are about the size of a pencil point.

Cupido comyntas, Eastern Tailed-Blue

Cupido comyntas, Eastern Tailed-Blue.


A lifer butterfly for me. Very lucky to get a few good shots of it while it was resting, wings open, to take in some sun. They're small and fast.